A lot of my friends are leaving MI, some are off to Lasalle and countless of times, they’ve persuaded me to join them. Like the previous years in my secondary school, they’ve discovered my somewhat artistic talent after I’ve hid it for a whole year. Putting financial limitations aside, it’s honestly not because I’m not confident of myself, or that I’m becoming a complete conformist, it’s just that I don’t know if I want to pursue my talent (yet).

Art, like for many others, is my escape. Somehow, I don’t enjoy the idea of making my art a career. I don’t want to be stressed and pressurised over my art, I want it to be a leisurely hobby. If I created something and, who knows, it might end up in on a display, gallery or auction, then I suppose that’s the extent of it. If people request for assistance or collaborations, I wouldn’t mind considering.

Maybe I’ll find a purpose for Art in the future, but for now, it’s my sanctuary. Taking A-Level H2 Art this year and I haven’t really thought about my coursework. This time, I’m allowed to pick my own theme and make it into any large scale I want. Shall it be melancholic? Matching with the pathetic aura that’s surrounded me lately? Then conquering an obnoxiously large amount of space in the gallery?

It’s close to 5am and I just woke up when I initially intended to have a half an hour nap last night. I’m just so tired from the past few days.

Millennia Institute’s La Victoire Orientation 2012

The newbies are in from all sorts of secondary schools and I’m exhausted from guiding them around and screaming at the top of my lungs and running everywhere to look for missing wise-ass persons. My OG, Byzantine (Empire) has had a somewhat lame and awkward start but that’s usual at every new school. Today was a major improvement, though, and I’m mighty proud so far.

Need to be out in a couple of hours. Kill me.

Today’s activity for the retainees was to trek about 6.5 kilometres from Hort Park to National University of Singapore as a form of motivation to reach for your goals and how tiring the journey would be. I guess it wasn’t a complete waste since we got some exercise and we didn’t have to listen to lectures. I walked with Irffan for most of it. He complains more than a woman.

Floorball training was intense. Coach was really drilling us today, but it was fun. The drills and formation wouldn’t have completely tire me out if the captains didn’t do fitness training in the beginning. Now we have massive, full body muscle aches. Especially after being tired from the walk.

But I feel it was worth it. I better have stronger muscles after this. 2 solid hours of drills, one solid hour of fitness. I did over 65 push ups just because I kept losing. I love it, though.

Everybody questions themselves why they stay in MI. Some have definite answers. Some were forced. And some just don’t know what to do with their lives. I for one, am no longer eligible for the one thing I want to do most. So I stay here because it’s the only option left.

That said, fuck you Millennia Institute, for being the epitome of misery, and ironically, hope.

Switching from business to art.
Take higher art, higher literature and higher economics.
Then switch H1 math to H1 physics.
I hope I don’t need to retake the art aptitude test again because I passed it last year.

School doesn’t even start for me until February.
Who wants to study with me?
I need to know how to get B’s in GP and Economics now so I have more time to learn Art history and Literature.
They’re changing the syllabus for A-level Lit, which means no more Room With A View.

Let’s do it right this time around.

I hope he’s safe and comes back without any harm. Feeling like a wife awaiting the return of her love who’s out to battle. Yes, I am ridiculous. Currently singing,

“My Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea. My Bonnie lies over the ocean, oh bring back my Bonnie to me.”

I’m thinking of what to do or where to go on our first date since forever. Picnic at the beach? A normal movie date? Go out food hunting and explore paths we’ve never been on? He promised he would do whatever I feel like doing just to make up for all the time he couldn’t be there for me.

If it were up to him, all he would ever do is spend hours in the arcade, LAN cafè’s and play pool with his friends. It’s not that I dislike his friends, it’s just that we never get to be alone. Mostly because we fear of being seen by people we don’t want to see. I’ve never been on a proper date with him and that’s all I really want right now.

So you other people can suck it.

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Boring post.

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Hajar, Hakimmah and I wanted to go up to him and say “Hi” but he spotted us and we suddenly burst into giggles and ran off into the station. He looked so awkward wearing his weird bermudas and (overtly) casual-wear. I’m just used to seeing him dressed up in school, is all.

Oh well, we all just lost The Game. (Inside joke)

Hate me.

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